A Broken Windshield.
Where reality meets speed. 

At first glance, you see a car, crashed sitting with two wheels up on the shoulder of a very busy highway mid-day. While that’s exactly what it appears to be, there’s more to this picture than meets the eye. To me, this isn’t just an accident that I witnessed this day, but rather an accident that I was involved in. It was me who was in the driver’s seat accompanied by my two younger siblings. This was the day my life literally flashed before my eyes. Not only did I think I was going to die, but I thought I had killed both my younger sisters who were with me. 

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            I genuinely don’t know where to start. This picture itself holds a thousand words that me explaining it again would just be repetitive. So, I guess I'll just start with the 5 W’s and make my way from there.

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            This took place on March 22, 2021. This was a very hectic and odd day. I look back now and laugh because all signs pointed me in the direction to stay home and to not go back outside, yet I went against all inner emotions that day and still went. This day, I had to take my younger sister to school. She went to school in the city and we were already running late because she wanted to fake that she was sick. Once we arrived safely and I was 10 mins from reaching my house I get a call from not only my parents but my old high school where she now attends. The school called me saying that my sister was in the bathroom throwing up and that she didn’t feel well. They made it very clear that my little sister was not trying to be there. Once I got off the phone with them my parents called me. They were mad at the fact that she pulled this little gimmick but I wasn't. See my little sister, Alexa, has been doing this since she was in the 4th grade. To get out of any exams and or any social encounter with people she would pretend that she was sick. My parents had enough of her games but couldn’t tell her how she’s feeling because it's her body. So, they told me to turn around and pick her up. Neither of my parents could get her because they were at work and it was at a time of day where they simply couldn’t leave to pick her up. I got off at the next exit, turned around, and went back to the city. Half an hour later I made it to her school, picked her up, and went back home. When I got home it was around 11:30 am and that’s when my other sister, Josephine, reminded me that she had to be taken to visit a college so she could catch the tour on time. We weren’t necessarily in a rush but it was crunch time. Nobody was home to watch my little sister and I wasn’t going to leave her home alone. We all proceeded to get back in my car and we left to go visit Hofstra. This is when all the series of unfortunate events began to take place. 

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            We get in my car and we are approaching the entrance to the highway. Usually, when you merge into a highway, you speed or slow down to match traffic speed and yield to whoever is on your left. I put my blinker and I tried to get into the left lane. Here comes a car speeding down that lane, mind you there is traffic so nobody is really moving anywhere. So, I stop trying to merge and continue in my lane until the next available open space. This guy decides to slow down and look at me dead in my eyes. I remember this like it was yesterday. Once we make that eye contact I felt it deep in my gut that something wasn’t right and low and behold it happened. He sped up, kind of ran into the left lane on his side, and then completely turned his wheel into the opposite direction hitting my front left tire sending my car and its passengers flying into the shoulder of the highway. I closed my eyes as we spun around in multiple circles until my car came to a complete stop. I opened my eyes and everything was orange. Dust was flying around, all the airbags were deployed, and my ears were ringing. As my hearing began to clear I hear my sisters yelling for help. That’s when the adrenaline kicked in and opened my door and managed to get out. It was difficult because my door was the one that was pinned to the floor of the highway. I immediately unbuckled my seat and pushed the door open. There was a little bit of daylight shining through so I slipped my left leg through. I then twisted my body so that my back was towards the door and I used both my arms to push myself through the little gap that I manage to open with my left leg. I scrapped my arm getting out but it didn’t stop me from getting my sisters out. Once my entire body was out of the car, I rolled over, got up, and immediately jumped onto the shoulder of the highway. That’s when I opened the back door and pulled out Alexa who was crying hysterically from the backseat. I then went to the passenger’s seat and tried to get Josephine out, who is the sister that needed to visit Hofstra. She kept yelling about how she couldn’t see and how she was in pain. I told her to relax, that we were going to get her out. She was difficult to get out because she had the seat belt on, but the part that crosses over your chest was now behind her back. We had to untangle her before we could pull her out. I noticed to the right of me, there was a guy approaching us and he helped me get her out. Turns out he saw everything. He was now not only my witness but someone who stuck around until my parents were able to arrive. 

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            Once everyone was out of the car the first thing that came out of my mouth was that my father was going to kill me. I did not think twice about getting my wallet or sister glasses or shoes out of the car. Nothing in that car had value to me at this moment. I didn’t just destroy a brand-new car in 7 months but I literally almost died with both my sisters. I quickly called my father and that’s when I knew things would never return to the way they were. The disbelief and fear that was in his voice is something I remember to this day. Once I was able to send him my exact location and know that he was on route to me and my sisters, I called 911 immediately after. Once the police, fire department and my father were all approaching us I called my mom. The hurt in her voice broke me even more. She couldn’t keep her calm. She honestly didn’t know what to do. She just hung up, told her boss that she had to leave, and came immediately to where we were. 

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            So, while you might see this as an accident that occurred one day this is something I see that changed me for the rest of my life. It really showed me how short life is and how quickly it can change in literally the blink of an eye. This is something that nobody was expecting yet happened unexpectedly. The scariest thing from all this was that it took place literally two weeks before my birthday. I was and will always be forever grateful that I was able to see my 19th birthday and was able to spend that with my sisters. 

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            The months that then followed felt weird. There was this secret fear and disappointment amongst everyone in the family and I felt a wave of depression take over me completely. I didn’t want to drive anymore. I would stay in my room all day whenever I could. I would rather walk or let my parents drive me places. Nothing was the way it was before. I felt like my parents didn’t trust me anymore and that they simply couldn’t look at me the same. Eventually, we all sat down and talked about it after a month of avoidance. I finally got clarity and that’s when I finally understood where my parent's fear stemmed from. Nobody wants to hear that their three baby girls are dead. While my father was relieved that we made it out with only a couple of scratches, he knew deep down he wouldn’t be able to live with the hard truth if we would’ve died. Eventually, all fault and blame that I put on myself went away. I knew he was just worried about us and keeping his fears in close sight. 

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            This brings this story to why I decided to pick this picture out of all the happy ones that I have saved on my phone. While happy memories are ones that you keep forever, I feel the sad/ scariest ones are the ones that shape you to be the best version of yourself that you could ever be. While in the moment I was depressed and constantly blaming myself, I eventually began to realize I did everything I could to make sure my sisters and I came out alive. That this accident wasn’t my fault and I shouldn’t blame myself the way I did. 

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            Now it's something that I joke about from time to time. Everyone copes with things in different ways and this was the way I dealt with it when I finally got over it. Once I realized that life is short and you can’t change the things in the past, I’ve simply learned to embrace them and make the best of them, learn from them.

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            Every now and then I do think about this accident. While I did take this as a blessing in disguise I also took this as a warning sign from God himself. I see this as God hinting to my parents that I shouldn’t be driving a car let alone a sports model. While the car isn’t to blame, I just feel like this was a warning for future events. I am grateful this accident took place with my Honda civic instead of a couple of years down the line where I probably wouldn’t have even made it out alive. I also do find myself avoiding getting in a car with my two younger sisters. It’s nothing personal, but I simply don’t want to risk anything again. I might take one or the other, but us 3 in the same vehicle again is something I won’t ever let happen again. 

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            While I do notice some new behaviors that I do subconsciously, I also noticed very clearly who is truly there for me and who has my best interest at heart. I’m not talking about friends but about family. After this experience, I realized that a lot of people that I considered family truly never cared about my wellbeing, only my immediate family did. As sad as that sounds it's the truth. Sometimes you can’t have that picture-perfect family that everybody claims to have. I am able to sit back and admit it. I prefer to embrace this outcome from my accident as well because nobody is meant to be perfect. I would much rather see the flaws, accept them for what it is and move forward with my life. My immediate family is who matters and I truly wouldn’t trade them in for anything in the world. 

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            All in all, I am glad this accident happened to me. It shows me how much I value family, safety, and my life. Certain things we take for granted can be taken away so quickly that you have to enjoy them while you have them before its gone.

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